Hello, it’s been a minute!
We’re halfway through 2019. I don’t know how to really comprehend that. A lot has happened in these months… I feel more tired than the last time I posted here. I also feel more certain in who I am, and the person I won’t be. I’ve seen myself disappoint people by falling short of a vision that they created. I’ve seen myself care less and less about that disappointment.
These are little notes to the person I was in the months that have passed.
To the lost days of February: I know that this is the hardest month of the year. Grief weighs you down in February. You are better off that the calendar is missing days.
At least Harry Styles was born in the month of February.
To the lion days of March: You got to runaway and breathe. Then you were reminded of reality again. You began to change reality.
To April’s endless rain: Exhaustion and depression, yet endless motivation. I’m proud of April.
To May’s flowers: Thank you to May for the sunshine. Thank you for the beach and crop tops. I missed your lazy love. I’m grateful for being a little crazy. I’m grateful for the people who make me feel less crazy.
As always, music recommendations: “Disappear Always” by Wild Nothing; “Patience” by Tame Impala; “Not Your Baby” by Alvvays; “Silver Springs” by Fleetwood Mac; “How Soon Is Now?” by The Smiths. Can I recommend John Mulaney’s comedy albums as music? (It’s my blog, so I say yes.)
Now to dissolve into the coming months, to return here again a little different and always the same.